How Ignoring Conventions Can Simplify Your Life

It's 12:00 and I am mad!  I have just driven halfway across town on my lunch break for a quick workout and the entire parking lot is full.  Not only that but there are two cars hovering for the next spots to become available.  To add to the absurdity I can't even get out of the lot because it is one way and the person in front of me is waiting for someone trying to back out of a tight spot and is having a lot of problems pulling it off.  I have already wasted too much time and will now have to head back to the office frustrated that I did not get my workout in.  The worst part of it all is that I have only myself to blame.  I was taking my lunch an hour and a half late.

Some of you may be saying, "Who takes lunch at 10:30?," but I can assure you making that small adjustment to your schedule will pay big dividends in reduced frustration in your life.  At 10:30 you are squarely between the end of the morning rush and the beginning of the lunch rush.  If you go to the gym, the equipment is virtually empty, there is plenty of parking, and you can still pick up a snack on the way back to work without having to wait in ridiculously long lines.  Try it sometime and you will thank me.

Why am I bothering to tell you this story?  Underlying my habit of taking an early lunch is a deeper principle that has helped me to eliminate a lot of useless waiting and frustration from my life; Questioning the motivation of conventions.  

Why does everyone go to lunch sometime between 11:00 and 1:00?  Because it is halfway through a standard eight hour workday.  Because the standard is three meals a day and we love symmetry.  Because that is when everyone else goes.  Right?  Wrong!  I have decided that, for myself at least, none of these are a valid reason.  The result is that my family has shifted our schedule back about 90 minutes and we no longer have to wait for a table at lunch or dinner.  Since we eat our last meal of the day at 4:30 we have plenty of time to work off some of those calories by taking a walk after dinner, or getting the house picked up before bed, or playing super heroes until bath time.  If we have some errands to run we are getting them taken care of while everyone else is eating, which means shorter lines at the grocery store and less crowding in the aisles.

The timing of meals is not the only example of this principle however.  Here are five more ways that questioning conventions can save you time and money.

1.  Skip the engagement ring - This one is controversial with the ladies but when you stop and think about why people drop ridiculous sums on a flashy diamond it is hard to come up with a good reason.  If you are saying it is a "symbol of their love" right now, think about what that means.  Would it be equally symbolic if a guy handed you a big stack of cash when he asked you to marry him?  That is a little too close to long term prostitution for my taste.  Also if you have ever tried to sell a ring back, unfortunately I have, you know that it is worth about 30% of what was paid for it.  The money that you would have spent on a ring will very often cover the cost of a trip to the tropical island of your choice.  I recommended taking the trip.

2.  Don't be an early adopter - Nothing in life will save you as much money as patience.  That new model of TV is awesome, but if you can be patient and wait a few months you will usually pay 50% less for it and it will still be awesome.  The only benefit of having the latest and greatest is so you can tell everyone how cutting edge you are.  Cool is expensive.  If you can resist the urge to be the one who has the newest thing before everyone else you will come out way ahead financially.

3.  Park in the first place you come to and walk to the door - Seriously, are you really saving any time by cruising around for ten minutes trying to get the perfect parking place?  How many times have you gotten mad at someone for taking a parking place that you were trying to get to?  Unless the weather is ridiculous a little walk will not kill you and, in the spirit of every little bit helps, may be good for you.

4.  Don't "stock up" - Buying what you need for the next few days is a recipe for success.  If you only have what you need for the meals you have planned then it is very easy to see when you need to head to the store again.  Also you will throw away far less food in the course of a year.  Nothing can hide in an empty fridge and things that can be seen get used.  It is very hard for some people to see that buying in bulk is a bad thing. Humans seem to be programmed for just in case, not just in time.  The downside of "stocking up" is that you need more storage for all of the excess, which means you need a bigger place to live, which means you are paying a lot more for housing.  All of this so you can have lots of stuff stashed away, and half of the time you can't find it when you need it and go out and buy more because it is easier.

5.  Don't buy things that you can borrow - Yes it is nice to have a book that you read once and liked and may read again someday, but 99% of the time you won't.  If you had checked it out from a library you could have gotten the same result without the cost.  Not only that but they will pay to store it on the shelves and it is always available to check out again.  Tools can be checked out from most auto parts stores at no cost.  Buying things that will only be used a limited number of times or at long intervals is just another manifestation of "stocking up".  Resist the urge and you will have less clutter to manage in your life and more disposable income.Focus on doing things instead of having things.

What are some of the things that you do that defy convention and make your life easier?  I would love to hear about them in the comments.

Eleven Books That Will Change Your Life in 2011

I read a lot.  In the last three years a lot of that reading has been focused on the Self Improvement genre.  Just writing that makes me feel a little like I should be on a couch somewhere trying to understand why my childhood is the root of all of my problems.  Self improvement as I see it though involves understanding how your own mind and body work, and how you can use that knowledge to make your life into the one you want to have instead of the one that you have.  Of course that statement assumes that you are unhappy with at least some aspect of your life.  If you are and are interested in changing a few things hopefully I can save you some time with the book list below.

1.  The Four Hour Work Week - This book set a new standard for self improvement.  If you want to become a renegade entrepreneur Tim can help you.  If you just want to free up as much of your time as possible and free yourself to be anywhere you want to be he can help you with that too.  If nothing else this book will convince you to challenge your assumptions and eliminate things in your life that are dragging you down.  This is the book that got me started re-examining my life.

2.  Outliers - All of Malcolm Galdwell's writing is worth reading but this one is particularly interesting.  His analysis of success and successful people finds hard work, persistence, and timing to be the true recipe.  Do you want to be world class at something?  Spend 1000 hours of dedicated practice on it and you have a good shot regardless of your ability.  Do you want to be a successful hockey player?  If you were not born in the first three months of the year you have an uphill battle.  Read the book if you want to understand that one.

3. How We Decide - This book woke me up to the reality that intuition is just another kind of thinking.  There are processes that go on behind the scenes in our heads that are faster and more accurate than the ones we think we can control.  Understanding the implications behind the neuroscience can forever alter how you look at the world and the sometimes confusing decisions that

4.  Spark - I used to work out because I thought I needed to keep my body in shape.  If things slid a little bit though, I did not sweat it too much.  A little extra flab won't kill me, right?  Then I read this book and found out that not exercising has serious effects on my brain as well.  That gave me a whole new kind of motivation. Skipping is no longer an option.

5.  The Four Hour Body - This is the newest book on the list and to be honest I have not read the whole book yet.  What I have read however has blown away assumptions that I have had for years regarding what is required to take control of your physical appearance and performance.  I am sure this one will have lots of haters, but they all have the option of not taking Tim's latest advice.

6.  The Art of Non-Conformity - Chris Guillibeau is one of my heroes now.  Anyone who drops out of high school as a sophomore because he was bored then proceeds to convince JuCo admissions that he really does not need  a diploma to take classes, then repeats that trick a few times with the end result being two degrees by the time the rest of his class finished their senior year get my respect.  His encouragement to rebel is irresistible.

7.  Drive - Dan Pink turns the whole concept of motivation on its head in this book.  It turns out that according to studies motivating people with rewards is a losing proposition.  The real interesting part is that after you have read the book you will try to tell yourself that you knew it all along; that it is all very much common sense.

8. Tribes - Seth uses this little book to lay out why we need leaders not managers and how small, dedicated groups are changing the world.  Then he invites you to become one and tells you how.

9.  Linchpin - My favorite concept in this book is the "Lizard Brain"  This is how Seth describes the fear of taking action to create something.  Read the book and he will teach you to be indispensable.

10.  That's Not What I Meant - Ever wonder why you get into an argument with your significant other every time you try to figure out where to eat?  Have you ever been floored when someone reacts in a completely unexpected way to something that you have said?  Do you get frustrated in conversations with people who simply will not let you get a word in?  This book will help explain why these things happen.

11.  Predictably Irrational - We are all irrational.  Dan Ariely can prove it to you.  The weird thing is you can know it but you still can't change it.  This book can't give you control over your irrational behaviors,  but at least it can help you to understand them a little better.  

Do you have any to add to the list?  Have you read the books and disagree?  Let me know in the comments.